I’ve kissed death twice. I use the word kiss because it is an intimate experience. In fact, it is a gift, a healing one. And it can be life changing. Both times shifted my perception about everything I think I know about this existence.
This past week I hosted a wellness retreat in Nicaragua. What started out as a “yoga” retreat, evolved into a mind, body, and spirit experience (see photos). It was beyond a success and a true measure that retreats are a part of my purpose. Creating a safe, nurturing space to reflect on life, try new things, and meet new people is bound to create a life altering experience. Removing ourselves from the expectations created by people and circumstances in our everyday lives expands our horizons in so many ways.
As with all of my travels, the retreat was life-changing, and it was a blessing to awaken new parts in each one of the attendees. I know each heart was touched in some way, just as mine was. I am so grateful for that beautiful adventure and I look forward to hosting the next one, A 3-Day Nature Immersion in Ojai, California Aug 1- Aug 3. I hope to see you there!
Two very interesting things happened to me while I was away. On the last day of the retreat, my MacBook Air laptop crashed and I almost drowned in the ocean. The MacBook happened first and I was pretty devastated. My office is my laptop. It’s my go to for creative outlet when I feel inspired to write. Everything I do is online—The Initiation Course™ (next session begins June 1), Blogging, Writing, Researching, etc.—and my work is a big part of me. And then poof, in the blink of an eye, all is gone.
The same is true for life.
This beautiful existence is often taken for granted. Even for me! I’m very much committed to passion and living from my heart in every moment, and there are still times I catch myself thinking, “Later,” “Tomorrow” or relying on all the time and availability in the future, a space that does not exist. There are times I even resort to stories created in mind, which prevent me from living to the fullest, “I can’t do this because I don’t have the capital yet…” blah blah. I only listen to these stories when I take life for granted.
My computer failed to turn on that day, and since being back in the states, it has been diagnosed as DOA (dead on arrival), and so it has been taken in for repair. I write this blog entry to you on another’s computer because mine won’t be functioning for at least another week. But having no computer can’t stop me from blogging! Somehow I’m calm about the inconvenience and the work setback. And it is only because of my kiss with death.
The day my computer crashed I was livid. How can a two year young MacBook just fail? I was pissed! I kept thinking about all the words written, all the pictures saved, and the past 2 years of my life. Erased. So I decided to go for a swim in the ocean to soothe my soul while everyone else was off site seeing. I was enjoying my dip in the sea, when I suddenly got pulled out deep by a rip tide. I never pleaded for help or drank so much salt water in my life. Thank god Ernesto, a random traveler was in ear shot of my screams. Stay tuned for a future blog with the details.
This kiss of death evoked tears and body tremors for the remainder of the day. But let me tell you, my computer issues are long forgotten. As are any other challenges I thought I was facing. Who cares about anything really, other than being happy (whatever that means to you and wherever your happy place resides) and living life to the fullest? Well at least that’s how I feel after this experience and I’m grateful. I didn’t think life could get any brighter or any more in the moment but it has.
Even after the retreat, this kiss with death allowed me to accept a kiss from another beautiful soul. Why not love and lose than never love at all? Why not embrace the love of a beautiful soul even if it is just for a moment. I’ve grown from this experience by being even more in the moment and fully connecting. Perhaps I will share more in a future blog. I do long for my computer so that I can share all the inspirations running through my veins, but I will just have to be patient.
So I will start my book afresh with these new lenses of perception. I now see this beautiful life a bit more clearly. It’s good to be back with you, fingers to the keys. I am alive and well. Everything is amazing and I’m choosing to live a bit more carpe diem.