Beware, this one is raw-I really share myself with you. Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable due to the overwhelming comments and messages inspired by last week's post–It's OK to Feel Sad. As promised, here is part two. May this piece allow the emotions rising to the surface within us to be expressed and released as they so wish to be. Expression-not suppression-is meant for this human experience.
I once heard that all of the most talented artists are mad. Mad as in bonkers. The derangement caused by sadness can bring us into unchartered territory. These less explored feelings evoke actions and perspectives not existing before.
This idea of creative sadness seemed beyond my range of knowing. For I am always a happy person–until more recently–when I began feeling this birthing within me of what feels like a sadness, and even sometimes a darkness. But I long for it. It creates a space that is new and erotic, allowing me to express myself like never before.
Welcome sadness. It serves a purpose.
This sadness–this creative sadness–from an unknown source, perhaps of the collective, is, at times, the heartbeat of my most prized gift to share while on this planet–the romanticism of art through the serenade of words.
I no longer run from sadness but rather have wished to explore it. In this space of darkness, as one may see it, I see light. This feeling washes over me evoking a desire to romance the keys with words of love, life and emotions–reflecting on things as they are, the way they are perfectly meant to be.
Upon learning my human design, I now embody and accept that I am a creator. This line is also associated with a deep sadness. Yes I’ve felt this before but I’ve never considered myself depressed. This is natural human emotion.
This gift, this creative sadness, taps me into beautiful feelings–deep and romantic. I crave to feel these emotions with humans more often. For when I do magic begins to brew as the next piece begins to create itself.
Only coming into this gift within the past year or two, it is an ever changing, ever deepening journey through unmarked territories that leaves me yearning for more. In this space I write in a way that feels sexy. The words flow down to my fingertips caressing of my being with the divine expression of passion. This becomes a therapeutic, creative session of expression through writing, which is indeed art.
This is the way I long to write–this poetic, romantic, deeply penetrating way that tears me open to bare the depths of my soul with no filter or care for what wishes to be expressed. If I choose to flow from the inside out, relinquishing the mind, uncensored, real, and truly allowing inspiration to flow through me–I create magic.
It’s time to remove the filters and wash away the beliefs of the mind. It’s OK to feel sadness. It’s OK to dance with the flow of emotions.
For it is when the entanglements of the mind attempt to get in the way that second guessing occurs. “But this sadness isn't how I am supposed to feel.” “These prose are not the way a doctor is supposed to write.” “Do I basque in this darkness?” “Do I publish this?” Blah blah. Follow the fire in the heart.
There is no sense in pretending the reality is any different from what it is. Acceptance. No sense in pretending we are not feeling what we are.
Rainer Marie Rilke, an admired writer of writers, allowed me to accept the gems discovered within solitude and sadness. How wonderful it is to be alone in silence and surrender. The quietness is more like the simmering of a storm, waiting to be unleashed. Solitude allows for the exploration of darker feelings without the projections, judgments or expectations of others. In solitude exists the space to be who we are, do as we wish, write what we wish, be as we wish.
Why not be swept away by the beauty of the moment be it light or dark, by the flow and waves of what’s happening within us? Why not be free to follow the bliss and ecstasy or the despair and darkness? Be free to feel the feelings that surface and surrender to them–they are our guides, they are speaking to us for some reason. Choose to be present, be open to understanding, and learn the lessons presenting.
The depth of my being only expands as we free ourselves from the happenings of society, allowing the self to simply be. To feel, unexpectedly and unapologetically, just as the tides rise and fall, knowing these emotions will pass too as all things do.
The sadness, the joy, the darkness, the pleasure, the pain–it is all beautiful. Live unfiltered, untamed, wild, free and tumultuous as the wind, as are the nature of emotions. Revel in feeling deeply regardless if it is happy or sad. It measures the pulse of life; it means we are alive.
This life is meant to be lived and experienced in all ways possible always–especially feelings. And if it initiates the spark of creativity, then beg of it to come in whatever form it may because there is no substitute for the authenticity of living.