Stop Self-Sabotage: Stop Speaking of the “Not”

Three elements go into creating our reality–thoughts, words and actions.

When our thoughts, words and actions are in alignment we know peace in our being. And we become masters at creating this reality.

Discord between thoughts, words or actions results in frustration and depression. Some people don’t understand why their lives aren’t working or why they feel out of integrity. They say one thing but do another. They do one thing but think another.

Anytime thoughts, words and actions are incongruent, it sends out mixed messages to the Universe. If the Universe could speak it would say, “What does this person want? I’m confused.” And this is generally why some people disregard manifestation–it fails for them because their mind, body and/or spirit is in disagreement.

Awareness is key to precision of thought, language and action.

As we become less reactive and emotional, and become even more aware of our being and the world around us, we begin to master our existence.

Meditation is key in enhancing Self awareness.

When we become aware of our thoughts we can begin to rewrite the script playing in the mind.

Remember, we are not our minds. Our minds are a product of our upbringing and experiences. Though thoughts can be challenging to change, it is possible through focus, dedication and commitment to enhancement practices like meditation, breath work, energy work and other types of healing exercises and modalities.

As the observer mode strengthens such as through meditation, we become more aware of the senseless chatter of the mind. And this is when we can begin to rewrite it. One way to do so is when self-limiting chatter is observed, negate it with empowering thoughts. Remember, you are the writer and producer of this human experience.

The spoken word is very powerful.

Words are spells. Words are filled with energy and when we project them out into the void of existence, they ripple out and begin to create our reality. Speaking lovingly to others is blessing them. Speaking negatively about others is cursing them.

Thinking before speaking is serving. Being purposeful with language is also key in creating a life we love. Words invoke feelings and energy into the space. Choose to be mindful before speaking into the void. And as mother always said–if you don't have anything nice to say, best not to say anything at all.

Purposeful action directs the creation of our reality.

Action in spite of fear in the direction of desired outcomes is how we create a life we love. Purposeful action involves awareness as well as patience, commitment and dedication because it is easy to fall back to old ways of reacting from a space of heated emotions.

Purposeful inaction is important too. Sometimes a few deep breaths to center the Self and really come into the present moment is wise before choosing to act.
Be calculated and sure. Be mindful of every action.


Stop speaking of the NOT.

Stop self-sabotaging. Stop speaking about all the things that are NOT right with life. Stop speaking about what you don’t want. Stop focusing on all that isn’t serving and that you’re ready to let go of. Speaking of the NOT is like complaining. And no one likes to hang out with a complainer. Do you?

Speaking of the NOT brings energy to these unwanted circumstances and thus invokes them, calling them into the space more vividly. It's like saying, "Don't think about the pink elephant." What we resists persists because we are fueling the fire by bringing awareness to it. What we focus on expands.


Put energy into what you wish to call forth by speaking about what you do want.

  • If there is a NOT anywhere in a statement, reword it with what is or what you wish. For example, replace "I do not want to feel tired everyday" with "I want to feel inspired and energized everyday." This practice is great fun because it causes us to become really present and mindful about everything we speak.
  • Speak in the affirmative. Speak about what is wonderful and beautiful in every space. It feels good. Our time here is limited so stay in the affirmative and choose to create the rest of your days by speaking about what you wish to call in, what you want more of, and what you want to create.
  • How sexy and empowering is it to know what you want, voice it and make it happen?! Begin by setting some intentions and resolutions in the affirmative. Let’s say for the new year your resolution was to “lose weight” perhaps you said “I don’t want to be fat anymore.” Well both of these statements are invoking the NOT and bringing energy to what you don’t want rather than what you do want.  How about, “This new year I want to be even healthier. I want to care for and love my beautiful body even more.” What a difference right?! And with such a resolution you’ll be inspired to make the choices that are good for and nourish your body.

This change in behavior takes practice, commitment and concentration, but it is well worth it. You’ll even feel better as you begin to speak from this heart space rooted in love. Try it out. Speak in the affirmative and call in all the goodness you deserve. Leave comments below and let me know how it goes.

Nikki Starr Noce1 Comment