7 Ways Desire Enhances Life, BUT Beware these 7 Undesirable Habits
I once thought spiritual enlightenment was reaching a place of no desire because I’d be in such zen, blissful space that it’d ALL be good.
Several years ago I reached the point of not needing or wanting material possessions anymore. Sure, it’s nice to have nice things, but I realized I didn’t desire them like I once had. This helped me see the changes my spiritual practices of energy healing, meditation, yoga, etc. were creating in my life.
Earlier this summer in Italy I reached a point of deep peace within myself where I felt happy with any outcome. I had no preferences. No desires. I was content. I reached ultimate non-attachment. It didn't matter to me if I lived in LA or Italy or wherever. I felt I could be happy anywhere.
This should have been a good thing, right? WRONG!
This created some stagnation because desire is the magnet that pulls goodness and events into our lives. So if we don’t desire anything, well, NOTHING is going to happen.
Even for us spiritual folks, desire is a good thing. Desires are connected to the juiciness in life. Our heart’s passions. They are fuel for why we do.
Understanding the importance and purpose of desire helps us thrive, and also helps us keep our desires in check if they get out of hand.
7 Reasons to Desire
1. Desire helps us create a life we love.
Our desires give us direction. Literally anything can happen in life. Our desires act as a compass letting us know where to focus our efforts. This provides more clarity for how we wish to create our future.
2. Desire magnetizes events and goodness into our lives.
Desires are working at an energetic and subtle level whether we realize it or not. When you want something to happen–just the desire alone–begins to move events to create a future in favor of that desire. So beware of your desires!
3. Desire helps us make choices.
We may find it hard time making decisions. If we check in with and listen to the desires of our heart–and put aside all the logic, thoughts and monkey mind chatter–we'll have an easier time making decisions that create a life we love.
4. Desire pushes us into ACTION.
If we want something really badly we are going to take action to make it happen! Desire is the fuel for our action.
5. Desire makes us feel alive.
Did you ever notice that once you begin thinking about what you desire you are suddenly feel more awake and filled with more energy? That’s the power of desire–It’s natural caffeine.
6. Desire aligns us with our purpose.
If you desired nothing in the whole world, life would be purposeless. Our desires are linked to our purpose in life. For those who don’t know what their purpose or mission is, allow your desires to be the compass to get you there. You may have a desire to go somewhere or doing something without knowing why. Then you'll discover there is someone for you to meet or you'll have an experiences that brings you into greater alignment with your purpose.
7. Desire keeps us dreaming.
Desire is essentially never ending because it is linked to the dreams we wish to achieve in life. When we stop dreaming we stop living. Our dreams manifest through our desire to create, innovate and take action in the world.
It’s all about balance–TOO much desire can be detrimental. AND a key ingredient of non-attachment.
Beware these 7 Undesirable Habits caused by TOO much Desire:
(And tips to transcend them!)
1. Never feeling fulfilled
Some people never feel fulfilled no matter how many material possessions, successes, medals, accomplishments, houses, etc. they accumulate. There is a void and emptiness that no amount of material anything can fulfill.
Tip: Meditation is a quick tool that helps us fill any void. Meditation helps us feel the infinite, overflowing love that we are. Take 10 minutes to breathe deeply, relax, connect with your highest self and the vast, loving being that you are.
2. Always on to the next
Have you ever met a person at a party who is asking everyone what is happening after the party? Or the person who has a really great watch, but whines about wanting the newest version that just came out? Too much desire keeps us looking ahead, instead of enjoying and experiencing all the beauty of the now.
Tip: Mindfulness. If this sounds like you, or someone you know, redirect your/their focus to the details of the now. Take a moment to stop and smell how sweet the roses are.
3. Always wanting more
Have you ever been in a store and a child is crying because mom said they can only have one toy not two? Perhaps in adulthood we are treated to a gift and we can't help but ask for that other thing too. Pretty please!
Tip: If you catch yourself wanting more. Take an inventory of all the things you already have. Write a list of all the luxuries and amazing things in your life. Read it over and feel how lucky you are!
Happiness is a choice. A way of being we choose in every moment. Unhappiness generally occurs when we want things different from how they are. A desire for a different life, a different job, a different relationship. Well if things are that bad...
Tip: Allow your desire to propel you into action to create a life you love!
5. Feelings of Unworthiness
When desire gets out of hand, people start desiring extravagant things. Perhaps private jets and fancy cars and designer this and that. Then when they are not in a financial position to have these things, they can feel they are not worthy.
Tip: Define what your values are in life. Then take a moment to write down all the your character traits and life experiences that make you special and one-of-a-kind.
6. Lack of Presence
When someone is too much in the space of desire, they're constantly in the minds, thinking, planning, strategizing, busy with trying to make things happen that they aren’t present to the NOW. The present is the only gift we have. Living the present moment, being able to receive the signs, gifts and synchronicities is how we create a life we love and manifest our desires!
Tip: Take time to do something you love. Or spend time in Nature. Do something with someone you love that really requires your full undivided attention so that you are completely present to the NOW.
If you’re desiring too much, then you’re not in a space of appreciating the life you are living or what you already have. Feelings of appreciation and gratitude are the fastest way to bring more goodness into our lives.
Tip: Write a list of 10 things you are most grateful for right now and why! Share it with a friend.
So what’s the magical formula???
Desire WITHOUT attachment.
Non-attachment is not being affected by what happens in life. It’s acting without expectation and without the need for validation or for something specific to happen. It’s being with what is.
The golden space to be in is with the attitude of: “It would be nice if this happened,” without feeling any destructive emotions if it doesn’t happen. Without feeling the need to control things or have them be in a certain way.
This way, it’s always ALL GOOD, and you strategically use your desires to help you make the best choices for you in order to create a life you love!
We will continue the discussion of desires next Thursday August 17 for AwakenAwe Mindfulness Breakfast, Meditation and Conscious Discussion at the Arlo Nomad Hotel on 31st in Manhattan at 8AM. Reserve your tickets in advance at: https://awakenawethursdaybrunch.splashthat.com