Why you NEED to be yourself

It seems kind of obvious right? Be yourself. 

This is one of those cliche phrases that you hear over and over and it seems so obvious. 
But are you really embodying it?

Anytime we hold back from expressing what we are living, experiencing or feeling in any moment, we are NOT being ourselves. 

Anytime you do something because you think the other person will appreciate it, but it’s NOT what you genuinely want to do, you’re NOT being yourself. 

Sometimes, especially when we first meet someone, we can tend to hold back. I like to call this “best behavior.” These are the times where we may be a bit more reserved with our words or how we express ourselves. Maybe you don’t unleash your full sense of humor either. 

This is NOT being yourself.

The worst of all is to pretend you like something because you know the other person does. 

All of these are examples of NOT being yourself. 


Perhaps you’re guilty of one or all. That’s ok. Maybe you didn’t even realize it. And that’s ok. Now that you have the self awareness around it, you can choose to be yourself moving forward. 


Why is it so important to be ourselves?


It takes courage to be ourselves. Consciously or subconsciously fear of rejection is the most common reason behind us not being ourselves. We think the other person won’t like us. 

Well, so what if they don’t. 

Do we really want someone in our lives who doesn’t love us for exactly who we are?


This week I was connecting with a new friend and I was debating if I should share something or not. I was experiencing something quite strange. Most people would have probably chosen not to share, “Oh by the way when I think of you my heart hurts. Can you share with me what you are living so I can better understand this sensation in my body connected to you?”

Even when I mentioned it to another friend they advised me NOT to share. 

Of course I didn’t listen to this person who told me not to share because I HAD to share or else I wouldn’t be authentically myself. 

So I shared. 

And it was the BEST thing I could have ever done because it brought me closer to this new person in my life. My sharing helped me discover other parts of my friend, and also new things about myself. 


Another example from my life where I really decided to be myself was when I decided that I would no longer straighten my hair. Curly hair is not so popular in our culture. Since owning and rocking my curly hair I get compliments on my hair all the time and people from my past often tell me I am much prettier with my curly hair. When I fully loved my hair, so did those around me. And for those who don’t that’s quite alright with me too.
We can’t please everyone!


The main reason we want to authentically, whole-heartedly be ourselves is because when we are we attract the people and situations into our lives that are meant for us. When we are our full selves whether it’s curly hair or wearing funky pants or sharing strange sensations we are feeling, the people that are meant to be in our lives can find us, recognize us and stay. 

If we put on a front and try to be some other way to please others, it acts as a veil and then we are NOT seen for who we truly are. We end up attracting the wrong relationships and situations into our lives. This is NOT a way to create a life we love. 

Imagine how lovely life can be when we can relax into the fullness of who we are and be accepted for that. Imagine that when you are yourself it is the perfect filter and magnet, deflecting away those people and situations not for our highest good, while attracting and calling in all that is. 


May you give yourself permission to be yourself. This is an act of self love and you will be rewarded with more love in your life.