7 Things I Learned as a Monk

I just concluded a three month experience in Damanhur where I entered into a deep, intimate space of presence and centering with myself. During the monk path, I followed certain rules and was operating from a different energetic space, while still living a pretty normal life. 


To me it felt like being a modern day monk, where my work, clothes and home life remained the same, but I was more mindful about every aspect of my life including food, words and relationships. My favorite time was Sunday morning meditations in the Temples of Humankind


The top 7 things I learned during this special time were: 


1. Sexual energy is exchanged more than we think. 

Sexual energy is not only exchange during sex. It’s exchanged during flirting, hugging and sometimes just being near someone of the opposite sex. The majority of people don’t even notice because we usually aren’t paying attention at such a deep level. 

For me, because I was in a space of celibacy and not open to exchanging any amount of sexual energies, and because I’m highly sensitive to energy and can feel when it moves, I was very aware of any amount of sexual energy awakening or moving in myself in relation to others during this time. 

I observed when men would want to engage with me in a flirty way, that I would consciously contain my energy and not allow the energy exchange to occur. Though I would acknowledge them kindly, I would give them less attention than usual to make it clear that I was not interested in exchanging energy with them. I also observed that if a male sat too close to me, it would require more effort on my part to contain my boundaries so I preferred not to be in close proximity to men. 


2. Discipline and consistency are keys to creating a life we love. 

This life I have been blessed with discipline. For me, it’s easy to change my habits if I know something is good for me and will serve my mission and purpose. During the Monk Path, I was required to follow a set of rules, many of which I already follow in my life or have at some point in time. This was very easy for me, and what I noticed was that it was causing certain changes in myself and my life around me. 

I observed that my way of being was changing because of my consistent actions and that people were treating me differently in response to my transformation. It was as if my vibration was being purified and this was attracting wonderful opportunities into my life including new clients. 

When I work with people, it’s much easier to stay on task and follow their self-care and life coaching regimen. For some, once the program is complete, they stray from the program for various reasons, but part of it some have shared is that they no longer have me in their life regularly for accountability. The Monk Path was a space of accountability. For most people, it's easy to do something once or only when we need to. The challenge is to continue despite life being great or challenging.


3. Prayers really do get answered. 

During the Monk Path, part of the lifestyle is to pray in the morning and evening. I am not religious so I never really got into prayer until recently. What I realized is that prayer is a way to create our lives and bring order to what we have and want. 

Since it was part of the rules, I began to be mindful about what I wanted to pray for. The amazing thing is that my prayers were answered. Even simple little things were answered in a big way. 

This was a reminder that thoughts create, words create, that what we focus on expands, that we are the creators of our reality and that what we are grateful for we attract more of into our lives. 



4. Silence is an excellent tool for centering. 

I love silence. I’ve done two 10 day silent retreats and loved them. By the end both times I didn't want to speak, I wanted to continue in the beauty of the healing silence. It was a much different experience to be silent for at least 12 hours a week when I was not in a retreat center with others doing the same thing, but rather living with people who were talking a lot. 

Being silent around others who are talking is a wonderful experiment. You enter into a different mode of listening and observing your response to things that people say. You realize how many unnecessary things are spoke, how much you can communicate telepathically and how much energy is conserved when you don’t talk so much. Only twice in three months did I accidentally break my silence because someone spoke to me and I mindlessly replied. One was after 11 and half hours too, but it was ok, it was a reason to do another 12 hours of silence. 

Silence helps to keep us centered because we learn to not be so affected by the noise around us. Not just the literal noise of speaking but also the opinions of others, the distractions of life and so forth. So whenever you feel pulled in a many directions disconnect from technology and go into silence for 12 hours–the things you will discover!


5. Fasting regularly brings us into a greater state of presence. 

Fasting is good for our health and well being. Most people are addicted to food and don’t even realize it. People eat on the go mindlessly, snacking all day long, never giving their digestive tract a moment to rest and rejuvenate. 

People often eat all kinds of food that are not good for their bodies. They also overeat and thus they wonder why they are so tired after meals and throughout the day. The brain functions differently when it is not inundated with digestive hormones that make us sleepy. You may come into new insights, greater energy and focus to do the work you need to do. 

Fasting brings us into greater presence. Fasting for a 12 hour or 24 hour period weekly, or only eating two meals a day, can drastically change your life. You will detox and find more clarity. It’s important to drink extra water during this time to help the body cleanse. 



6. Dedicated time for celibacy empowers wholeness and elevates your energy levels.

There have been several times over the past years that I have entered into intentional times of celibacy. It’s a great way to strengthen our energy, get clear about what we want and not be distracted by anyone or anything. All of your attention and energy is focused on yourself during times of celibacy. 

Sex is an energy exchange. The more sex you have with many people, the more energy is dispersed, and the more other people’s energies affect your energy field, which in turn has an influence over your thoughts, emotions, actions and behaviors. 

Every orgasm is a release of your vital life force energy. Yes, tantric and taoist practices exist that utilize sex and orgasms as a way to elevate our energy levels, but most people are not following these exercises when they orgasm and thus the energy is lost. Thus anytime you wish to find more clarity, as well as cleanse and strengthen your energy, celibacy is a great tool.


7. Connecting more deeply with ourselves cultivates more self love, which enhances all of our relationships.

Whenever we dedicate time to be with ourselves, away from our phone, computers and others, we recharge. We feel more full and whole, thus we have more to give to others. 

Finding time in our weekly schedule to do the things we like to do and need to do for ourselves, while also making sure we have time to rest and just be, is essential and necessary for our wellbeing. Allowing yourself this time is an act of self love. People will notice a difference in your way of being when you are rested, nourishing and have taken the time to care for yourself. 

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During this Monk time I observed that my relationships with others enhanced. People also noticed new things about me that they hadn’t noticed before. One person said he felt I had a cloud around me that had cleared away during this monk time, where as other people had seen these parts of me from the first day they met me. It’s funny how different people respond to us in different ways depending on our energy field and actions. Sometimes the less noise we make the louder we communicate. 


Please share your questions and comments below. If you wish to book a session with me, contact me directly. I’m here for you!


With love always, 

Dr. Nikki Starr